


Aww, Alterna-us no

by meh_guh



Series: Tony the Polyglot and his Sneaky Sniper Boyfriend [8]
Category: Marvel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1760431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meh_guh/pseuds/meh_guh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Requested by kacikaci, a tag for 616 Tony when he's back home. Follows directly from "Classy As Balls"</p>
    </blockquote>





	Aww, Alterna-us no

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kacikaci](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kacikaci/gifts).



> Requested by kacikaci, a tag for 616 Tony when he's back home. Follows directly from "Classy As Balls"

Tony sighed and shut down the display. Hitting three walls in one night on the same issue was a pretty good indicator he should take a break. And the homing beacon for unintentional interdimensional travel was almost certainly not a priority.

Reed had probably already hit 2.0 version for the Fantastic Four, anyway.

He leaned back and scrubbed his hands over his face, wishing he had never seen the midget version of himself happily macking on Hawkeye.

'Normally I wouldn't care-'

Tony squawked in surprise and managed to turn falling off his chair into something resembling a dive for cover. He glared up at the bare beams reinforcing his lab's ceiling. 'How the hell'd you get in here, Hawkeye? Jarvis, what the hell?! Security suddenly third tier priority?'

There was a twin snort from the PA and from the ceiling, then Hawkeye dropped the twenty feet to a clear space with little more than a grunt when he landed.

'Apologies, sir,' Jarvis said through the PA. 'Master Barton enticed me away from my station with a bottle of Talisker. And I believe you need to speak to him.'

The PA clicked off before Tony could fire Jarvis (not that anyone ever took him seriously when he fired them these days), so Tony turned back to Hawkeye and folded his arms across his chest. Leaning against the leg of a bench with his legs crossed like a preschool kid might not have been the best defensive position, but scrambling for an adult position would've been worse.

'Fire away, then,' Tony said. 'And now you've got _money_ , fair warning I'm now charging you for anything you break in my house.'

Hawkeye ran a hand over his hair and dropped into a crouch a few feet away from Tony. Guy always looked nine kinds of beat up recently, and Tony made a mental note to tag him with some sort of surveillance to make sure he'd be able to yell at Clint for the right reasons next time he wound up in traction.

'I'm used-' Clint huffed. 'The _team's_ , hell, the whole world's used to you being a freak over Cap, but ever since you got back from your little holiday you've been the same brand of freak around me too.'

Tony straightened too quickly and bashed his head against the desk. 'Ow! Fuck! I am _not_ a freak over Cap-'

'Yeah you are,' Clint said. 'And now me too for some damn reason, only unlike Cap I actually _notice_ this shit so I'm gonna be straight and tell you I'm flattered but hell no, Stark.'

Tony opened his mouth to argue, but what came out instead was 'oh thank god.'

'Wait,' Clint blinked. 'Crazy say what now?'

Well, Tony thought, maybe explaining to someone who'd be just as weirded out as he was would get the damn _images_ out of looping through his brain.

'It's not that you're unattractive, Clint,' Tony got to his feet and went over to the medicine cabinet for a couple of Tylenol. 'But “oh hell no” from me too.'

Clint squinted at Tony and tapped at his ear. 'Did my hearing aid just go on the fritz? Are you admitting you've been a freak around me since you got back?'

'The me over there was practically engaged to the _you_ over there,' Tony rubbed at his temples. 'Offered to send me home with one of their sex tapes.'

'Aw, alterna-me,' Clint moaned. 'No.'

'Precisely,' Tony clamped down on the thread of curiosity the idea of a threeway with himself sparked. There would be another opportunity sometime, with someone he didn't have to work with as the third. 'So I was maybe a little concerned and weirded-out when I got back.'

Clint glanced over at Tony, then quickly away. 'Why do alternate realities gotta be so damn _alternate?_ '

'Hey,' Tony leaned over to punch Clint in the shoulder. 'Probability says that means there's a universe where you've got your shit together, so there's that.'

'Shut up, bro,' Clint laughed and returned the punch. 'I don't think there's enough universes for there to be one where _you're_ not a screw-up.'

'You're probably right,' Tony headed for the elevator. 'But I'm always a damn _hot_ mess, Barton.'


End file.
